Annie and Sarah

Annie and Sarah met at a gay bar at an AIDS benefit drag show in Bloomington in 2009 through a mutual friend and connected on Facebook shortly thereafter. A week later, Sarah asked Annie out on a date, and the two of them have been together ever since. At the time Annie was an oboist and a local radio host at WFIU in Bloomington. Sarah is a folklorist, which became quickly important: seven months into their blossoming relationship, she had to leave to go do fieldwork in the north of Canada for nine months. It was a real test for the new relationship, but they both decided that if it worked out then they could really go the distance. Through lots of phone calls and a couple of meetups, the two came out the other side even stronger. They moved in together shortly after Sarah came back from her fieldwork.

Although marriage wasn’t originally a consideration, they had been following marriage in the news but hadn’t really thought of it as something that wanted to pursue. What really started to spark the conversation, was when Sarah finished her PhD and started looking for academic jobs. Sarah has dual citizenship in both America and Canada, and she was looking to get a professorship in Canada. She knew that if she and Annie were married, it would be much easier for Annie to be able to be with her there. While Annie’s parents had always wanted her to have the typical American experience, including getting married, buying a house, and having kids, Sarah and her family had never really thought much of marriage. This was particularly reflective in the way that their two families reacted to them announcing they were getting married. Annie’s family was thrilled for her; Sarah’s family’s reaction was more muted. They saw it more as just a piece of paper confirming the way they already thought of the pair.

Annie and Sarah eventually ended up having a marriage ceremony in Seattle. They chose to get married there instead of in Indiana because it was easiest destination for the two families to meet— particularly Sarah’s grandmother, who was 90 years old! Although Annie and Sarah waited until same-sex marriage was legal in most of the United States, same-sex marriage being legalized in Indiana did prompt several of their friends who had been planning to get married to go ahead and do it. There was a lot of fear among their friend group after Trump was elected in 2016 that the Act would be overturned.

“I can talk about Sarah as my wife with more people.”

Marriage has really changed the way Annie thinks about their relationship: “I can talk about Sarah as my wife with more people,” which is something she wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable doing before. Whereas for Sarah, her feelings haven’t changed as much: “I don’t know that I really feel like it did [change the way I feel about our relationship] but not in a bad way… I felt good and solid about our relationship before, and I feel good and solid about our relationship now.”

The two of them have since moved to Newfoundland, Canada where Sarah has found a job as a folklore professor at Memorial University. Annie has left WFIU although she continues to play the oboe.